Saturday, January 21, 2012

Disney Princess For A Day

First off let me say a few things, even though I grew up on these movies and loved them as a child, I grew up and realized that these bitches were some prissy, no balls kind of bitches. Listed below are things that if I was a Disney Princess for a day that I would do.

Ariel- This bitch gave up her voice so she could have a pair of legs, If I could be Ariel for a day I would have told Prince Eric he could kiss my fucking fin tails and if he didn't like it I'd find a merman that did.

Snow White- Snow White was a naive little airhead..If I was her for a day I would have traveled to land of Oz and asked the Wizard for a fucking brain, because who really takes food from a stranger? Especially one who looked like that fugly old lady.

Jasmine- My oh my...If I was Jasmine for a day I would tell my father that first off I'm like 13 fucking years old there is no reason I need to get married at this age, AND when I do decide to marry it's going to be MY damn decision, also to teach me some responsibility maybe I should get a goddamn job instead of lounging around the Palace all damn day like a spoiled fucking brat.

Belle- One word sums it all up: Necrophilia

Cinderella- If I could have been the original Disney Princess for a day, I would have punched my step sisters in the throat when they tried to lock me my room and shoved my step mothers head in the toilet for good measure.

Sleeping Beauty: If I could have been Princess Aurora for one day I would have eaten a fucking breath mint before kissing the prince...I mean she has been asleep for a 100-fucking-years right???

Pocahontas- This is the only Disney Princess I don't take issue with, She was strong willed, stood up for what she thought was right, and wasn't fooled by the perfectly coiffed Disney Prince hair that all these stud muffins sport.

Monday, January 16, 2012

I'm an uptight bitch

A little background...I live out in the country, it's pretty nice because of the quiet and the peace. It's also sucks because it takes so long to get back and forth from Isaiah's school and any kind of civilization. I live in a little community that my sister also lives in. She is 22 and has 3 kids and is pregnant with another one. I love my nieces and nephews to no end but my sister is another story. She's deaf and has always run with the assumption that because she is deaf that the world owes her everything. For some reason it's not as uncommon thinking as you would think in the deaf community. We moved here so that she could go to one of the best schools for the deaf- Florida School for the Deaf and Blind, so she has a pretty strong support system.

On to the real subject of this blog, as I said I live in a wooded, country-like area and our house is on an acre of land. My sister also lives out here and has about half an acre of land. When I was recently at her house she wanted to let the kids go out and play, But she wanted to stay inside and let my 5 year old be in charge of a 3,2 and 1 year old by himself outside with NO SUPERVISION! Needless to say I think that's fucking ridiculous and told her dumb ass exactly what I was thinking to which she told me I was a stuck up, prissy mother who needed to let her boys be boys and go outside.

Now I let my kids go outside and play all the time...Not by themselves and I don't particularly like them getting really dirty but the boys don't like to get really dirty either. They still play in the dirt with their monster trucks and dump trucks and all that, but they don't like to roll around in the mud and slap on their faces, mush it into their ears...stuff like that.  It really pissed me off what she said about being stuck up because I didn't want them to go outside by themselves! It's like she pays no attention to the news around us, that people snatch kids up everyday. But her reasoning of thinking it's okay to do this? Because of where we live.

Regardless of what she thinks I'm going to keep doing what's best for me and my family and try to help her understand that she can't let her young children outside unsupervised. We shall see if it makes any difference.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

My very first blog!!

So this first blog is just to give you a little information so when I say some whacked out shit in the future you'll know exactly who and what I'm talking about.

I lived in Rhode Island until I was 10 years old and loved every minute of it, I was in diapers with all my best friends, we did everything together and fucking life was grand until one day in 1996 my mom and dad said we were moving to Florida..I hated them, I told them I would never call FL home. We packed up and moved all in 3 months. I got to FL and eventually settled in and shit was cool until high school I'd say. My dad has always been a fucking douche bag, don't know if it was the alcohol or the fact that he was in the military, either way I was 16 years old and NEVER allowed to go on dates or be outside of the house after dark. Not too bad you think right? Well it wouldn't have been that bad except for the fact that when I was home I was verbally abused  by said Dad once he was shit faced.."Your a dumb whore and bitch" were things commonly thrown around at my house.

My mom divorced him and we moved out to an apartment about 15 minutes away. Now that I had the freedom to do what I wanted, I went a little ape shit crazy. Drugs, partying, drinking you name it I did it. I quickly became addicted to cocaine which was the drug of choice around this time. I've always been a curvy girl but I was down to a size 4 in jeans from never eating and too much coke. I dropped out of high school and shit got serious. I was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and put on probation.  Around this time I started thinking about maybe going back to school and finishing up my education and getting a trade in something. I looked into my resources and found Job Corps. A girl I knew had been and she said she liked it  , so I said fuck it and signed up. 2 weeks later and I'm off to my new life at Gainesville Job Corps...Only problem? I neglected to tell my probation officer I was leaving the county.

So at Job Corps I made a lot of new friends, got my high school diploma and trade degree in Tilesetting, but most importantly I stayed off the drugs! I graduated and all that good shit and then was on my way back home. When I got back, I noticed a lot of shit stayed the same. The same people doing the same things and going to jail repeatedly. I was determined to not let it be the downfall of me again. I got a job and started making new friends. Low and behold I got myself back into the drugs. That's actually how I met my husband. Steve and I met through a cocaine dealer. Sad isn't it? We started dating and eventually I got pregnant with our first son Isaiah. We both put an end to the drug use and decided to distance ourselves away from the people in our lives that couldn't accept that we were going clean. Now I'm sure I'm making this sound easy but it wasn't in the least bit! Quitting drugs, especially coke is not an easy thing to do at all. It took a toll on our baby relationship and we did end up having some horrible fights.

That was pretty much the end of our partying days because once we both sobered up long enough to think, we realized that we didn't ever want our kids to have to live out of motels and pizza every night. We've been together ever since then and had another child named Holdyn, and I love my kids more than life itself. I'll probably go more into detail about certain things in future blogs but I just wanted to give a cliff notes version of my life. Hope you enjoy it!